There is Rejoice in Darkness: Homily of Fourth Sunday of Lent, March 15, 2015 (Year B)

First Reading: 2 Chr 36: 14-16, 19-23
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 137: 1-2, 3, 4-5, 6
Second Reading: Eph 2: 4-10
Gospel Reading: Jn 3: 14-21


Let us greet to each others as we gathered as friends, brothers and sisters, celebrating today’s eucharist.
The fourth Sunday of Lent is a day quite special to be celebrated. It is becoming a moment of pause from our journey throughout Lent. This Sunday called “Laetare Sunday”, means “rejoice”. By having this Sunday it also alerts us that now, we are only three more weeks ahead to Easter Sunday. It also means we are in the middle of Lent Season. However,
Moreover, Laetare Sunday prepares us to the coming of Holy week. The word “Laetare” means “Rejoice”, word that we consider suppose to be forbidden during Lent. But here, the entrance anthipon calls us “Rejoice, Jerusalem, and all who love her. Be joyful, all who were in mourning, exult and be satisfied at her consoling breast.”
This is to address us to be full of courage and persistence in hope since from next week we will continue our Lent pilgrimage with different perspective, we will closely following the path of suffering of our Lord, which we call the fifth week of Lent as the Passion Sunday.
Therefore, we move forward in the beginning of our prayer by giving thanks to our Lord for every blessing and love we have received throughout our daily life.


Who are among you have a phobia to darkness? or cannot stand to sleep without light? or similar with it? Explain the symptoms and the reason. Which is most terrifying?

The reason of this phobia often can be accepted easily since most people do not like stay in darkness. Maybe because it makes us feel helpless. Consider this: if suddenly during this eucharist the electricity went out, we would immediately panic and even if we still can continue our prayer, without microphone and other electronic equipment, we would not enjoy our prayer as common as we used to.
But, is it darkness always take us to uneasiness? or to something might disrupt our regular and it is uncommon? even destruction?

Three weeks have past during Lent and from the day we started our self-examination to our conscience we may find that we are not so perfect as we think we are. It was not new as news, but it can be a good news, instead of a bad news, since it indicates that we still be able to acknowledge our weaknesses and our imperfection as human being. it is a gate that may relate us to be renew again and again as a person and member of children of God. However, to see the ugliness of our sins sometimes make us could not bear to see ourselves as it is. The choice is in ourselves.
If we could indicate the darkness of sins, it may helps us to indicate the light of God mercy. Three weeks long we contemplated our sins, and still God loves us. He still continue providing us with something most people needed: love. We have surrounded with parents, family, brothers, sisters, friends, lecturers and everybody around us who simply resonate the love of God in our interaction with them.
The relation may not always went well. But, this people still be around us, they may forgive our wrongdoings and they also need our forgiveness. That is love which make us capable to endure even in darkness of relationship. If we go back then, to our starting point to reflect today’s readings, we notice darkness not always lead us to something bad. It may reveal the very goodness of reality of love.
Jesus’ word today, strengthen us, giving us hope and more courage to embrace love. He asked us to choose to live in darkness or to live in his love, which able make us feel light even in darkness. The burdens we may carried, which cause many things that hurts us, will eventually heal us, if we allow to accept love. John the apostle was writing very boldly in today’s gospel: “(for) God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so everyone who believe in him might have eternal life.”
If you remember how it is feel to be loved, you will know the deepest meaning of this sentence. Recalled how your father and mother love you. They still love you, even when you doing bad things. Or when someone you like so much, indicating back the same feeling to you. Even when that person seems bad from others point of view, you may blindly love him/her and accept his/her weaknesses.

Returning back to theme of rejoicing, today we have been asked to rejoice in the middle of our sadness or grieves cause by our sins. We are choosing to be love and loving back God who loves us first. There are no guarantee that we may always able to choose what it is good and constantly a good person. We may fall again, now and then, but, today, we have been asked to say “I do” to God’s question to love him. It is our willingness that describe our option whether we are children of light or of darkness.

Let us pray that the Lord himself build up our willingness to life for goodness and make us stronger everyday. May he helps us to seek his counsel and comfort with prayer, and by doing so we may gain intimate relation to the Lord. Finally, we ask to be able finding our joy even in the darkness and hardship of life.

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam

Alb. Buddy Haryadi, SJ

Of Courage, Joy and Unity – Revisiting Canisius Art Blast 2014

This post should be published on last May, which I never did. However, it is still valuable to late publish below article. One I have written as a reflection-writing to be accompaniment to audiences who attended the CAB 2014.

Alas, the booklet did not post it rightly. I consider to repost it here on my own blog page. The show itself were tremendously gorgeous and proudly presented. Students really performed with confidence and most important, they were looked …. very happy!

If you like to see some of the footage you may like to see here on youtube.



Now is the time to seize the day, stare down the odds and seize the day.

Courage cannot erase our fear, courage is when we face our fear. 

Once we’ve begun, if we stand as one, someday becomes somehow, and a prayer becomes a vow

- Seize The Day, Performed by The Newsies.   

Summer of 1899 in New York City was one that historically noted in American history. Louis Ballatt or his friends used to called him as Kid Blink – so named because he was blind in one eye – gathered a large number of New York City newsboys in a two weeks strike refusing distribution of New York World, newspaper owned by Joseph Pulitzer and New York Morning Journal, owned by William Randolph Hearst. The strike was weighed heavily to World and Journal’s distribution and later inspiring other newsboys community to strike including newsboys strike in Butte, Montana (1914) and in Louisville, Kentucky (1920). Decades later, when child-welfare examined and considered as one that should be included in basic human’s rights, this event believed to be one make greater influence.

Newsies: The Musical is a Disney Theatrical Production started on September 25, 2011 at the Paper Mill Playhouse and a year later being performed in Broadway. It is based on a 1992 musical movie titled “Newsies”. Both film and its theatrical version inspired from the above newsboys strike in New York City. A fictional leader Jack Kelley is used instead of Kid Blink for an unknown reason.

The strike itself something which interesting to be examined. The Newsies –  a called to newspaper boys – refused to purchase World and Journal since they raised a bundle of a hundred newspaper from fifty cents to sixty. It happened since 1898, when the Spanish-American War exploded, newspapers around the country had increasing number of its sales. After the war they returned to their original price, but it did not happen to World and Journal papers. Both kept their increased price and made them harder to be sold. Even worse, newsies were sides who took its burden which happened since if they cannot sell these papers they did not allow to return them. After two weeks on strike, the two newspapers agreed to buy back all unsold papers, although they refused to lower their price.

It is obvious that the newsies story is about a fight from minors against the power of capital owners. These kids did not seek an easier life nor take opportunity to be a little richer, they simply were looking for justice and their own rights to live. Nonetheless, their effort would have less impact – even none at all – if they did not unite in one vigour. Therefore, Newsies: The Musical as a play goes beyond than just a story of seeking justice. Its worth do not come from its story, but from its spirit.

Three things should be considered as integrated main themes of this play: courage, joy and unity. They are all made Newsies: The Musical worth to be watched and played. The courage of newsies do not emerge from a single or individual passion. Jack Kelley – the main character of the play – is portrayed as a charismatic leader whom could not rise if he never be able to love and be loved by his member of the newsies band. He is influence and be influenced by his community. His passion which soon become the passion of the newsies to seek justice comes from his compassion in understanding the suffering of his newsboys’ mates to sell papers. There are friendship and solidarity which bind them both physical and spiritual. These are keys to understand their shout in joy while proclaiming strike: “One for all and all for one!” (Seize The Day)

Joy comes forward after courage being made and stitched by union of heart and soul of the members. Friendship will bring along love and love will make people able to experience joy. A Catholic writer Heather King once writes, “Pleasure is shallow, but joy has pain in the middle of it. Pleasure comes and goes, but joy has eternity in it.” This sentence is echoing a reflection of 1Corinthian 13, where St. Paul writes that love will endure all things, including all burdens. It reflect a power of love to stay and to live, even in affliction toward life happened. Love will make people reach joy amidst pains and sorrows. Throughout the play, we will be presented performances or displays of a dynamism of joy. Actors move with joy and unafraid to show their happiness. This fact explains a lot about why Disney failed to reach success from their movie, but lure more and more audiences to their play at Broadway. They even awarded with Tony Awards in 2012.

Along with the above thoughts, this year Canisius Art Blast (CAB) should be something worth to be played and watched. Newsies: The Musical is a play which performed as a mean of learning to wisdom and to life. Aside of many hardship, hindrance and challenges which are experienced by the committees, students, choreographer, directors and all who involved to this play it is worth to noticed how joy and happiness stitches us in togetherness to make Newsies: The Musical as memorable and also be learned as well. It is valuable enough to strive for. The preciousness of this year CAB do not come from how well it is being performed or how many people come to watch this show, but its significance occurs from its process of learning and training.

In same step to this reflection, it is precious to notice that as community of learners, we should consider and take respect to a process of learning. Aside of many obstacles and challenges of educating young people, we have been invited and motivated to provide joy and happiness along toward a process of learning. Learning without joy and happiness will not allow us bear good fruits to knowledge and it will alienate any potential to make differences toward life.

Together as community, we want to celebrate this year CAB as our celebration in joy and happiness, raising  thanksgiving to the Lord our Creator and Almighty educator, and in the end we may take courage to make differences.

Upcoming Event: Angkringan Lintas Iman Campus Ministry USD

Next Saturday, October 4, 2014, on the feast of St. Francis Assisi and to commemorate “Sumpah Pemuda”, a national event remembering Indonesian Youth Movement to declare themselves as one nation; Campus Ministry of Universitas Sanata Dharma, Yogyakarta hold an event to open dialogue and inter-faith sharing. It also happens to be a holiday for Moslem since it is a feast of Idul Adha.

If you are happens to be in Yogya at that morning, please do not hesitate to join us in this event. However, we have limited space to cover, therefore if you are interested to join, you should make a registration in Campus Ministry office, in Mrican, Gejayan.


I think Saint Francis will like to join, if he can … :-)

New Assignment, New Attitude & New Reason in Continuing This Blog

I am living in Yogyakarta for about seventeen days now. It is good actually to be reseting from former task as a moderator of SMA Kolese Kanisius, Jakarta. It was a great three years. Even though, I always felt uneasy for the task I’d be assigned there. However, I could feel blessed since God brought many good things to that ministry.

It is two weeks behind me now. It is a past.

I should expect more excitement to my new life here in Yogyakarta. Honestly, I always wanted to life here. But, indeed there are challenges. I am assigned to a bit different job. I love school and youth ministering. But, now it is larger than I used to. I live surrounded by mature youth. I work among university’s students. I live in St. Robert Bellarmine College, Mrican, Depok, Yogyakarta. It is a main Jesuit community in Sanata Dharma University, the one and only jesuit’s university in Indonesia.

But, I won’t be able teach any class now. Since I only have my undergraduate degree, either in Theology or Economy. Therefore, I have been posted to an office that not so really interacting with any students. I am a chief — might be altogether a chief and also its employee — of Center for Ignatian Spirituality (Pusat Studi Ignasian in Bahasa). I am still learning but also wondering, what is exactly my job’s description here.

I know for now, that I should make network and acting as coordinator in this campus to publish its three scheduled journals in one academic year. But also, I should prepare and hold some seminars to Ignatian Spirituality.

Yet it is not done. I also will help as student’s chaplain to Campus Ministry of Sanata Dharma University. Mostly, I will serve a liturgical celebration, such as serving a mass, hearing confession, et al. But, also accompanying students’ activities which related to their character building programs or similar to those.

Then, I remember my old and abandoned blog. This blog.

I think I may used it to help me with my current assignment as a young Jesuit’s priest in a campus. It will help me to make connection or building network with other Campus Ministry or CIS offices in jesuit’s campuses.

I am excited to begin this new journey then …

Being Studious and Conscientious

English Mass with Grade XI Canisius College, Jakarta

on the Memorial of St. Claude de la Colombiere – Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Claude la Colombiere, was born at Saint-Symphorien-d’Ozon, Dauphine, southeastern France in 1641. He entered the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) in 1659. Later he went to the College of Clermont in Paris for his theological studies. In 1675 he made the solemn profession of his final vows and was immediately made rector of the Jesuit College at Paray-le-Monial. During this year, Claude met Sister Margaret Mary Alacoque. She had been the recipient of visions of Jesus’ Heart but was plagued by anguish and uncertainty. She was waiting for the Lord to send her a “faithful servant and perfect friend” to help her carry out her mission: of revealing to the world the unfathomable riches of Christ’s love. Margaret Mary at once opened her inner experiences to Claude and he assured her that he accepted them as being genuine. He told her to put them in writing and promised her every support in the mission she was being given. Claude had only been a year and half in Paray, when in 1676 he was transferred to London. He had been appointed preacher to the Duchess of York, Mary of Modena, who was a Catholic and would later be queen. It was a difficult and delicate assignment in a predominantly Protestant England. Even in the Court Claude lived the life of a religious. On 15 February 1682, Claude suffered the severe haemorrhage which ended his life.


Once I read a funny status update on one of my fellow students’ bbm. It was written as: studying equals study plus dying. The status reflected her tiredness to school and to being studious. However, as one of the student who studied in a Jesuit’s college, she had a false understanding to the college life.

Being a member of a college, students have been accompanied both by their teachers and peers student to notice and pursue their own goals to live their life. Therefore, the school community should help students to be able choosing their own options. By this objective, every student will live their college life as one of the joyous and unforgettable moments of their life. Reflect more deeply, we should make distinction between things we desire and things we have been tempted. In daily routine, it is easy for us to lose our focus in life and be attracted to things that not important for life. Similarly, very often we busied ourselves with many things we wanted and could not be able sharing our times with other people.

In the gospel, St. Mark, the writer of the gospel, gives us his reflection about being conscientious and awareness of our own life. The story of Jesus who cured a blind man in Bethsaida actually a kind of makeup story which served to make us known that understanding does not instantly shape to one’s mind. It begins with a process of knowing and requires openness of one’s heart to the subject or matters. At the end, it will lead us to what we call as truth. During the process, God’s graces always available and follow us in order to make us arrive to the real truth. To make this grace bears fruit, we should have an open mind and heart also wills to what was going on. Many times in reality, we have no patience to get along with the process to gain truth. We do not open our heart and mind to many possibilities available. We became narrow-minded and believe that things should work and serve ours rather than we serve them. Conversation will stop and demands to provide ours will be rise. On that moment, we have losing our capability to aware and conscientious.

Close to this reflection, St. James speaks about men’s integrity that his belief should appear on his action. In our experiences, many times students boasted that they really proud to be a part of the Canisius College. Yet, they were acting as if they did not. Faint and mellow appearances will make you look like you were burdened and if you felt did; you should noticed maybe this school did not fit you. Here as Canisians, we are trained to be conscientious leaders and as this kind of leader, you were train to be able to make your own decision which also reflecting your openness to the common good. This will bring you to some hardship and struggles since some values and virtues will challenge your own values. The question then, are we going to take this challenge and by this also means we are open ourselves to values of common good and virtues or are we choosing to stay close to our comfort zone and let everything be entertaining and relaxing for our own good?

I will conclude this sermon by remembering you that you have been educated and formed not only to academicals outstanding, but also to gain a well-built characteristic. And like Goethe said about conducting a good characteristic, that talents are best nurtured in solitude, but character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world. We have been driven to reach every goals in our life not by an easy life, but by struggle and hardship which giving us a real understanding what is real living.

We ask grace of our Lord Jesus Christ helps us to stand firm and do not run from any hardship that come from life, and by doing so we are gaining our peace and joy as human being which optimistically believe we still can change this world to a better life. AMDG. 

The Hero Within You

English Mass for X Graders of Canisius College, Jakarta

Wednesday, November 16, 2011 – Memorial of Sts. Rochus Gonzales, Alonso Rodriguez and John Del Castillo; Priests & Martyrs of South America


We should be glad and feel joyous since today we are able celebrating our first english mass for this semester. It is a bold move and I really appreciate that you were responding to this offer positively. It is also a good moment for us to reflect and prays, since we are remembering some Jesuit’s priests who had been acknowledged as martyrs and saints of South America. They are: Sts. Rochus Gonzales, Alonso Rodriguez and John Del Castillo. They came to South America, mostly to Brazil as missionaries, but they ended up their life as martyrs in returned to their life witnesses to gospel by raising the life qualities of the natives. Let us pause for a moment, to come to our personal reflection and prayers as we begin our thanksgiving to our Lord through this mass.


Most people really like hearing stories of heroes and great people. You can check yourself to this idea. Recently there are lots of superhero movies were made and most of them able to reach box offices or gaining millions of money from the tickets they sold. It reflected that most people enjoy stories of people who can safe others’ life. I think it also reflect our own desire to help others or becoming hero ourselves. But for one who wants to become a hero, they should know that to be a hero is not only live their life to help others. They are great because they life their lives as they believed it.

Today, at least we can reflect to three great stories of heroism. First, we heard from the first reading, the stories of the maccabees. They were people who had keep their faith against people who liked them to give up from it and believed that their act of faith till the end of their life worth for the life itself as if martyrdom gave meanings both to death and life. It shows what it is meant that men’s life will glorify the Lord.

In the second story, we heard from Gospel that Jesus told a parable of servants who act differently according to their will against their master’s request. It is their will that made them produce differently. The story give us understandings that heroism does not build only by strengths and physical action, but also by inner freedom to act according our belief and wills.

We can take a look from the Jesuit’s martyrs we remembered today as the third story. They were as human as we are, but greatness come to their life since they were doing what they believe and follow its will. Heroes do not live for themselves, they look for what have happened surrounds them.

Therefore, we should begin to look around and learn what our surroundings need. Heroism were not a talent or just a gift, it is a call and that call have been addressed to each one of us. It is us who should respond, either we are like to accept it or we just refuse it and become like ordinary people did. However, this kind of act of choosing has its rewards too. Even in the parable Jesus mentioned it very clearly: “whoever has will be given more, but the one who has not will lose (even) the little he has.” It means to whom is able to accept their responsibilities and other’s burdens, in return will gain many experiences which were not belong to those who are refuse it. In so doing, I think heroism is about a willingness to accept our life as it meant to be. To life to its fullest and being happy with its nature. Let us ask grace to have courages to accept our own greatness and heroism as we are a hero for ourselves.


The Prayer of Fr. Rupert Mayer SJ

Lord, let happen whatever you will;
and as you will, so will I walk;
help me only to know your will!

Lord, whenever you will, then is the time; today and always

Lord, whatever you will, I wish to accept, and whatever you will for me is gain; enough that I belong to you.

Lord, because you will it, it is right;
and because you will it, I have courage.
My heart rests safely in your hands!