Two disciples of Jesus that same day (the first day of the Sabbath) were making their way to a village named Emmaus, seven miles distant from Jerusalem, discussing as they went all that had happened. In the course of their lively exchange, Jesus approached and began to walk along with them. However, they were restrained from recognizing him, (Luke 24:13-16)

Wise men said that life is a journey. A continual path that we should take no matter we like it or not. Some people said the flight they took was fun and enjoyable, like one summer that never have an end; but some other felt that they life is only misery. Every moment seems like nightmares that would never go away.

However, whatever we felt about our life, we will agree that they will not last forever. Just like a cycle of season, Summer will meet autumn, and soon, ready or not, we should prepare for winter, which will be changed to spring and make us gladly meeting the summer again.

It seems for me, a same thing happened when you traveled to another place. Not only your destination which differed you from the place you depart, but also the whole experiences of traveling from one place to another, given a proof that travel means changes.

Just like a journey itself, our life to be, then. Everything changes as we moved on from one time to another. Some of them, we consciously noticed to be a part that we made, with all our effort and strength. But also there were parts that we wanted so much to be erased from our memories, parts that darks and somehow made us did not proud to be ourselves. However, the journey still continue …

Now and then, as I stopped awhile and looked back to the moments that passed through, I understand those memories from the past, still overshadowed what I struggled these days, then what I decide and act today may change what would have been in the future. This understanding might be a little bit scary to be noticed. How could I be sure that I make right decision to my life? Still, the journey continues …

Somehow, this understanding makes me move backward. Rather than took chances to accept the challenges that had been given, I chose to return to the way I am. Convincing myself that I am weak and make a justification that I am facing wrong direction. All of sudden, everything turned to be only dreams, which would never come true.

In contrary, the nature kept telling me, If I returned to the path that I took before, I will regret. True, there are no guarantee that the road I take is the better one, but so far, I felt that I become stronger than I thought I was. There are truths that make me noticed I cannot return to the way that I lived before.

Seven years I wandered on this path, with many ups and downs, one thing that clear to my soul, I never walk alone. I always have company, physically and spiritually. The Jesuits community, friends and families, teachers and students, other ministers and people whom I should served and many more to come, they present as well as God present along my way all of these years. Many hardship that I encountered, would never become a sort of miracle, without their accompaniment.

Difficulties and helpless days also become a good moment which made me aware that I never be alone. Moreover, they become miracles which changed my life completely. If I had to re-counted my seven years in college and compared them with other seven as it is now, I completely felt blessed since I learned more than one than I spent before.

But, past memories were not meant to stand only as good and sweet memories. They are reflection and guides to help us find future. Now, as the journey move on, I should facing my face with gratitude and hope that there should be a something more that I would do in the future.

I cannot stop nor turn back. I just need to pause in order to be aware of where the Spirit lead me.

This reflection become a guideline where this blog should go. A place which meant to be personal journal to a certain journey, but at the same time, may be opened to other wanderers who shared the same path with me.

Now let the journey continues …