I like this song and I want to post it here. However, … I cannot find any video in youtube that fit beside one that I have here. So, please don’t bother with the animation, just enjoy the song. Below, you also find its lyric.

by the way, … it is a good animation though, only I did not feel it is proper for the song.

Upon a darkened night
the flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
and by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
while all within lay quiet as the dead

Chorus
Oh night thou was my guide
oh night more loving than the rising sun
Oh night that joined the lover
to the beloved one
transforming each of them into the other

Upon that misty night
in secrecy, beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
than that which burned so deeply in my heart

That fire t’was led me on
and shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where he waited still
it was a place where no one else could come

Chorus

Within my pounding heart
which kept itself entirely for him
He fell into his sleep
beneath the cedars all my love I gave
And by the fortress walls
the wind would brush his hair against his brow
And with its smoothest hand
caressed my every sense it would allow

Chorus

I lost myself to him
and laid my face upon my lovers breast
And care and grief grew dim
as in the mornings mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair

Loreena McKennitt – from Album: the mask and mirror

it’s been awhile since my last personal post here. I’ve been traveled quite far and to remote places. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to write anything ever since I left Xavier. But, it seems I become addicted by now with this page. Anyway, … one thing should be considered about the existence of this blog, should I continue or just drop it since I may not be able to write more often than before.

By the way, I just return home three weeks ago. I still missed Xavier big time. However, being here in Yogyakarta with other scholastics could make me feel a little bit happier. I always loved Yogya, particularly Kolsani (Kolese St. Ignatius), close to St. Antonius Church, Kotabaru. Maybe because the lots of smile and warm friendship that I received every time I went there.

I just half way in completing my program here before I begin my three years study in Theology. I thank God for seven years that I spent as a Jesuit, I hope and pray that he will also grant me courage and maturity to keep this vocation become more mature and be responsible with it.

Now I feel everything become more practical than before. I hope that will be a sign that I walk to a right path that God wants me to take. Amen.

Holy Terrors, Saints who weren’t always saintly

By John W. Donohue,

Archived Article on www.americamagazine.org, America Connects Features

In the summer of 1549, when the Society of Jesus was not yet 10 years old, Juan Alvarez, a Jesuit in Salamanca who had a flare for the needling phrase that could provoke even a saint, received a long and very stiff letter from Ignatius Loyola, the Society’s founder and first general superior, who was writing from his residence in Rome.

The letter was actually composed by Ignatius’ indispensable secretary, Juan de Polanco, who has been described by John W. O’Malley, S.J., in The First Jesuits (1993) as one of the two men (the other was the Majorcan, Jerónimo Nadal) who, after Ignatius himself, “most effectively animated the young Society and gave it shape.”

But in this letter to Alvarez, the secretary took care to put some distance between himself and the general. “I am merely the pen,” he wrote, “so that nothing should be taken as coming from me but as from our father,” that is, from Ignatius, “who has given the orders.”

That disclaimer is understandable, because the letter is strong indeed. There had been no need, wrote Polanco, either for greetings at the beginning or compliments at the end. The letter was intended to be a series of sharp raps for the outspoken Alvarez.

Some time before, he had been sent certain documents that were supposed to help him cultivate the powerful personages in his locality in order to obtain their favors for the work of the fledgling Society. Father Alvarez had replied rather too smartly that he thought behaving this way would be “bending the knee to Baal,” acting in a worldly fashion instead of relying on divine providence.

That phrase, picked up from Rom. 11:4, which has it from 3 Kgs. 19:18, pressed Ignatius’ button. The general’s letter advises Alvarez that he is taking “so spiritual a view of the matter as to lose all touch with reality in the case.”

Alvarez is reminded that using the help of the powerful and influential does not necessarily mean acting in a base and merely human manner. Joseph used his position at Pharaoh’s court to support the children of Israel. Paul appealed to his Roman citizenship to escape his enemies. In the first Christian centuries, the great Fathers of the church used “even the weapons of the powerful for the holy end of God’s service,” and “they never thought that they were worshipping Baal.”

True enough. But zealous Christians are always apt to be charged with bending the knee to Baal if they are good at fund-raising. For instance, this charge of unholy materialism was the main accusation leveled against the 84-year-old Mother Teresa of Calcutta in a 30-minute documentary telecast last Nov. 8 by Britain’s Channel 4.

Christopher Hitchens, a journalist with a pungent, not to say abrasive, style wrote and narrated the script for this program, which was agreeably entitled, “Hell’s Angel: Mother Teresa.” Born and educated in England, Mr. Hitchens now lives in Washington, D.C., and contributes regularly to Vanity Fair and The Nation, two magazines that are as oddly matched as Donald Trump and William Kunstler would be.

In “Mother Teresa and Me,” a short and spirited article in the February issue of Vanity Fair, Mr. Hitchens defines himself as a baby boomer who also happens to be both an atheist and “a materialist pro-lifer.” He has, in fact, on occasion written trenchantly against abortion.

His Vanity Fair piece is a chronicle of the making and broadcasting of “Hell’s Angel.” To put it mildly, the film was not well received, although Mr. Hitchens says some people stopped him in the London streets to say they had liked it.

Frances Gumley, television critic for the Catholic weekly The Tablet, was not one of these admirers. With a style just as lively as Mr. Hitchens’s, she had no trouble puncturing the pretenses of what she called an “attempt to secure the tackiest programme of the year award.”

Cardinal Basil Hume, Archbishop of Westminster, made a measured statement that should have given Mr. Hitchens pause, although it did not. “Viewers of this film,” the Cardinal said, “will quickly recognize that it presents a grotesque caricature of Mother Teresa. She represents what ordinary people everywhere acknowledge to be genuine holiness.”

She has been able to plead with the rich and powerful on behalf of the poor. Her transparent goodness and practical compassion have, without words, spoken powerfully to millions.”

“It is a pity the film is so destructive. In being so it condemns itself.”

The chastised angel herself has made no rebuttal. However, Vanity Fair, in its notes on the contributors to its February issue, reports that “Mother Teresa recently issued a statement forgiving Christopher Hitchens for “Hell’s Angel”…an absolution for which he insists he never asked.”

There is little chance that the film will be broadcast in the United States any time soon. From that Vanity Fair article, however, those of us who have not seen it can acquire some sense of its flavor and some idea of the case Mr. Hitchens wants to make.

The principal charge against Mother Teresa is that of bending the knee to Baal, or as Mr. Hitchens put it, “groveling to earthly powers.”

The article ticks off various particulars and the film adds others. Mother Teresa praised the Duvaliers in Haiti; laid a wreath on the grave of Enver Hoxha, the long-time tyrannical dictator in Albania; chatted with Margaret Thatcher and accepted a medal from President Ronald Reagan. She also accepted money and the use of a private plane from Charles Keating, the savings and loan swindler, and had friendly dealings with the late Robert Maxwell, the press tycoon whose empire crashed so spectacularly.

Mr. Hitchens also thinks the care given in Mother Teresa’s clinics and hospices is medically primitive and he has the dark suspicion that she is “really a tireless and self-sacrificing campaigner for Vatican fundamentalism.” (At least, he credits her with some self-sacrifice.)

These cannonades produce more sound than sense. It is true, however, that those who have written about Mother Teresa have usually described her as a formidable personality. When she received the Nobel Peace Prize in December 1979, Michael T. Kaufman, who at that time was chief of The New York Times bureau in New Delhi, wrote for The Times Magazine a lengthy account of the foundress and her work.

This profile was admiring, but not idolatrous. “The source of her success,” Mr. Kaufman said, “I am convinced, rests in her own rare character, her strong pure passions and, yes, in her faith in God and love of Jesus.”

But the reporter was also well aware that Mother Teresa is a determined and unstoppable worker for the poor and outcast: “It is now accepted among those who know her that what Mother wants she gets….” In pursuit of her goals, she may indeed have made some incautious moves. Perhaps she should not have met with the Duvaliers or flown in Charles Keating’s jet, and surely she would have been wise to skip the visit to Enver Hoxha’s grave. Most people, however, will not accept Mr. Hitchens’s claim that Mother Teresa has thoroughly compromised her reputation by meeting occasionally with dictators, politicians and unsavory entrepreneurs.

To put it in the most generous terms, when Mr. Hitchens sizes up Mother Teresa, he is inclined, to use Ignatius’ phrase, to take altogether too spiritual a view of the matter. Mr. Hitchens’ film, said The Tablet’s Frances Gumley, has “a sense of mission which would put the Albigensian crusaders to shame…. [It] tut-tutted while recording that Mother Teresa accepted money from the less than saintly” or once sat “on the same sofa as Robert Maxwell.”

Mr. Hitchens seems to assume that no one who has ever made mistakes or even acted ambiguously deserves to be called saintly. If he were to coast through Butler’s Lives of the Saints, he might be surprised to find that even though all the canonized and the beatified had become great Christians by the time they died, none of them was beyond criticism at some point or other in his or her lifetime.

This multi-volume collection began with the 18th-century English diocesan priest, Alban Butler, and was first published in London between 1756 and 1759. During the years from 1926 to 1938, it was thoroughly revised by Herbert Thurston, S.J., and Donald Attwater. In the early 1950’s, Attwater, by judicious abridgment, reduced the original 12 volumes, one for each month, to four.

There are about 2,565 entries in this invaluable compendium; some of them are for whole groups of saints-bands of martyrs, for instance, in the first centuries. A number of these men and women were reputed to have led lives that were nearly flawless. This is particularly the case when their biographies read more like a legend than history.

For example, it was said of St. Casimir, a Polish prince who was 23 when he died in 1484, that “living always in the presence of God he was invariably serene and cheerful, and pleasant to all.” On the other hand, there have been saints who gave some people some trouble some of the time. On that account, their stories may provide ordinary Christians with more encouragement than St. Casimir does. Here are a half-dozen in whose company Mother Teresa would look demure. Some of them are well known; others less so. They would all have given journalists like Christopher Hitchens plenty to write about.

First in line chronologically is St. Jerome. He was born about 343 in Dalmatia, a coastal strip along the Adriatic in what is now part of Croatia and was then part of the Roman empire. He was to become the most learned Scripture scholar of the patristic age and is honored not only as a “Doctor,” but also as a “Father of the Church,” the polymath who produced the “Vulgate,” the most famous Latin translation of the Bible from its original languages.

As a teen-ager in Rome, Jerome became a master of Greek and Ciceronian Latin. In his early 30’s he lived for four or five years as a recluse in a part of Syria that he called “a wild and stony desert.” It was during this period of solitude and prayer that he began the study of Hebrew, partly, he said, to distract himself from erotic temptations.

He emerged from that sandy waste to devote himself to an intense life as a theologian, writer, teacher, consultant to bishops and spiritual director of wealthy Roman women, some of whom would themselves be acknowledged as saints. Unfortunately, but not infrequently, Jerome was also a fiery controversialist who took no prisoners.

The last 35 years of his life were spent in Bethlehem, where he lived in the manner of a monk, although not in a monastery, while completing his translation of the Old and New Testaments. By this time, he was one of the most celebrated intellectuals in the Mediterranean world; and, like many intellectuals and artists, he did not relish contradiction. What Philip Hobsbaum, the British critic, said of Dickens could have been said of Jerome: “Opposition, even of a trifling kind, was apt to arouse his fiercest passions.”

One case was particularly notorious. For many years, Jerome’s closest friend was a certain Rufinus from what is now northern Italy, who was, like himself, a theologian and translator. After a quarter-century, this great friendship was torn apart when Jerome and Rufinus disagreed about the orthodoxy of certain positions held by the third-century Egyptian theologian, Origen.

In the course of this dispute, Jerome wrote a brilliantly witty but mean caricature of Rufinus. Its rhetoric has had Latinists squirming with delight. For instance, Rufinus is described as snorting like a pig when he conversed and walking like a tortoise when he promenaded.

“It is a good piece of prose,” said Helen Waddell (1889-1965), the Oxford medievalist who was herself a master of prose, and Rufinus “walks his tortoise walk in it forever. But it would have been better for Jerome if he had never written it….” For Rufinus had died in 410 or 411, and Jerome knew that when he wrote so unkindly. This does not mean that Jerome, so austere and so tirelessly dedicated to the service of God, was not a saint. It only means that when he wept for his sins he had those seizures of irascibility to mourn.

Cyril of Alexandria, who was about 30 years younger than Jerome, has also been recognized both as a doctor of the church and an unamiable personality. He became archbishop of the Egyptian city of Alexandria in 412 and held that office until his death in 444. There may well have been a general sigh of relief when Cyril was called to glory. Butler’s Lives judiciously observes: “He was a man of strong and impulsive character, brave but sometimes overvehement, indeed violent.”

As soon as he became archbishop, he used his authority to secure the closing of the churches of certain schismatic Christians called Novatians. He was also instrumental in having Alexandria’s Jewish population driven out of the city on the grounds of beating up Christians.

Cyril’s vehemence was most famously displayed in the unrelenting way he took after a fellow-archbishop, Nestorius of Constantinople, who was suspected of heterodoxy. Cyril was convinced that Nestorius denied the Incarnation by teaching that Jesus was only a man closely united to God and that Mary could not, therefore, be called the Mother of God.

Some historians have thought that Nestorius, unlike the heretics who were later on called Nestorians, did not really want to deny the unity of God and man in Christ but was unhappily maladroit in explaining his views. At the time, it did not much matter whether or not this was the case, so long as his Excellency of Alexandria believed that Nestorius was a danger to the church.

Cyril was largely responsible for the calling of a general council to decide the questions supposedly raised by Nestorius. It was held at Ephesus in 431 under the leadership of Cyril as the pope’s representative. He arrived in Ephesus with a gang of unruly followers and presided over some rowdy and divided sessions. Nestorius’s teaching was condemned by the larger part of the assembled bishops and he himself was deposed, excommunicated and sent into exile.

After Ephesus, Cyril appears to have been relatively quiet. Musing aloud during one of his lectures, the late Edward A. Ryan, S.J., who taught church history at Woodstock College, Md., once said: “We don’t know anything about the last 10 years of Cyril’s life. Those must have been the years in which he became a saint.”

By fast-forwarding nearly a millennium and jumping from Egypt to Italy, one can meet Catherine of Siena, who was said to have been on her way to sainthood when she was only a child. She too is a doctor of the church, the second woman to be so designated. In 1970, Pope Paul VI awarded this title first to St. Teresa of Avila and then to St. Catherine.

Although she did not herself know how to write, Catherine dictated a great many letters, some 400 of which survive, as well as reflections on divine Providence that are known as her “Dialogue.” Presumably, these make up the deposit that qualified her to be called a doctor.

She was born in Siena, most probably in 1347, and died there of a stroke in 1380 when she was not yet 33. Between those dates, she led one of the most dazzling lives in the annals of the saints. She was the youngest of the 20 or more children born to her parents, Giacomo and Lapa Benincasa. When she was six or seven years old, she had the first of her many mystical experiences–a vision in which she seemed to see Christ blessing her.

From then onward, Catherine was determined to lead a life of prayer and penance. Her parents were equally determined to marry her off, but they were quite outmatched. They were finally forced to allow her to become a Dominican tertiary, that is to say, to wear the Dominican habit and follow the Dominican rule while living in the secular world rather than in the cloister.

From about 1366, Catherine had an extensive ministry. She nursed the sick, visited the imprisoned and counseled those whose lives required reformation. In this apostolate, she was assisted by a group of men and women, some of them lay people and some of them priests, who called her “Mama” and considered themselves her disciples. Several of the men, who might frivolously be described as devout thugs, made themselves her security detachment when she traveled about. That was wise, because in Siena Catherine was considered by some to be a saint and by others to be a nuisance.

From 1375 until her death, Catherine was also involved in secular and church politics. She tried unsuccessfully to be a peace broker when Perugia and Florence were in league against the Holy See. Then in the summer of 1376 she went to Avignon to persuade Pope Gregory XI to leave that French city and return to his see in Rome.

She had already written to the Pope in what has been described as a dictatorial tone. When they met, she told him that the vices of his papal court stank intolerably. Despite Catherine’s reputation for holiness, the Pope did not lose his presence of mind. He asked her how she could make this judgment when she had only just arrived in Avignon. Catherine assured him she had smelt the stench while she was still in Siena.

Perhaps she thought she had. David Hugh Farmer puts it neatly in his Oxford Dictionary of the Saints (1978) when he brackets Catherine with St. Bernard, the great Cistercian reformer who died in 1153. “Like Bernard,” he writes, “Catherine had prophetic vision and personal intransigence; these led both of them to identify God’s cause with their own.” In any case, those characteristics prove that to be a saint one need not be either Caspar Milquetoast or Pollyanna.

St. John of Capistrano (1386-1456) was an emphatic witness to that commonplace truth. In the United States, this Franciscan is popularly associated with birds and springtime. He is the patron of an old mission church in San Juan Capistrano, Calif., to which migratory swallows are said to return precisely on schedule every March 19.

St. John, however, had no time for lyrical interludes spent in tracking the nesting habits of birds. He was born in the Italian town of Capistrano and as a young man he studied law in Perugia. In 1412 he became governor of that city and he also married a daughter of one of its leading families.

When he was 30, he decided to become a Franciscan. Presumably, as David Hugh Farmer conjectures, John and his wife had separated by mutual consent. Friar John was ordained in 1420 and from then until his death 36 years later he was awesomely energetic and fiercely mortified. He preached to huge crowds, helped to reorganize the Observants, his branch of the Franciscan family, and served on various papal missions.

In 1451, Pope Nicholas appointed John inquisitor-general to root our the Bohemian Hussites. Two years later, when Constantinople was taken by the Turks, John was delegated to rally the faithful against the Islamic threat. In his zeal, this little friar, described by a contemporary as “nothing more than skin and bone,” behaved at times more like General George S. Patton Jr. than Francis of Assisi.

When Belgrade was besieged by the Turks in 1456, John recruited troops and led them into battle. In a great Chicago church there used to be, and perhaps still is, a side altar dedicated to St. John of Capistrano and recalling his improbable military adventure. The altar was backed by a colorful mural that showed the saint flourishing a sword while keeping one foot firmly planted on the neck of a prostrate, scowling infidel.

Belgrade’s invaders were repelled but an infection spread from the unburied corpses left behind. One of its victims was John of Capistrano, who died a few weeks after the siege was lifted. He was canonized in 1724, and his feast is now celebrated on March 28, not long after the swallows return from Argentina to Southern California.

Both Catherine of Siena and John of Capistrano had reputations for prodigious holiness during their lifetimes and miracles were ascribed to their intercession. Nothing of the sort was said about the last two saints on this short list, James Lacops and Andrew Wouters. Quite the contrary.

They were two of the 19 priests and religious killed by Calvinists in the Dutch town of Gorkum in 1572, and in that company they were rather special. Butler’s Lives puts it discreetly. James Lacops was a Premonstratensian who “had been very slack and contumacious under reproof.” Andrew Wouters, a diocesan priest, had been leading “an irregular life,” that is to say, he had a concubine.

During the first days of July, 1572, they and their companions were seized by Calvinist soldiers who were opposing the Spanish rule of the Netherlands. In the presence of a Calvinist admiral, they were subjected to an all-night grilling by Calvinist ministers and promised their freedom if they would deny Catholic teachings about the Blessed Sacrament and papal primacy.

Nineteen of the prisoners refused and on the morning of July 9 they were hung from the beams of a barn. “The execution,” says Butler’s Lives, “was sheerest butchery: all hung long before they were dead.”

With an admonition, this narrative underlines another circumstance:”It is a significant warning against judging the character of our neighbor or pretending to read his heart that, while a priest of blameless life recanted in a moment of weakness, the two who had been an occasion of scandal gave their lives without a tremor.”

James Lacops and Andrew Wouters may often have failed to conform their behavior to their belief, but in an hour of crisis they were able with divine assistance to put their sturdy faith into practice. They must have surprised themselves when by one act of heroism they pole-vaulted into the calendar of the saints.

What might Christopher Hitchens, or anyone else, conclude from this amateur canter through 15 centuries of Christian history? On the one hand, we should certainly not suppose that the saints were not greatly different from the rest of us. They were vastly different because by grace they really did give themselves wholly to God-either day by day like Catherine of Siena or in a single day like Andrew Wouters.

On the other hand, we should be bucked up when we realize that the saints sometimes faltered, that they too had to battle against their own hearts, and that not all of them had attractive personalities.

Francis de Sales, who humanly speaking was one of the most appealing of saints, touched on this point in lines that Donald Attwater quoted in his preface to the 1954 edition of Butler’s Lives: “There is no harm done to the saints if their faults are shown as well as their virtues. But great harm is done to everybody by those hagiographers who slur over the faults, be it for the purpose of honoring the saints…or through fear of diminishing our reverence for their holiness…. These writers commit a wrong against the saints and against the whole of posterity.”

That is because those biographies not only dehumanize the saints, but also defraud the reader. The saints would be neither useful nor accessible exemplars if they had always been blameless and had always traveled over uplands in the sunlight.

John W. Donohue served as an associate editor at America from 1972 until June 2007.

Below I post you an article from America magazine. Topic that recently being posted for several times. I hoped that it would not become an obsession.  :)

Dating God – The Importance of Solitude

America Magazine, Vol. 196 No.21,Whole No. 4778 – June 18, 2007

“Go to your room!” It is no wonder that solitude is a scary experience when, from one’s earliest years, time alone or “time out” was a common consequence of childhood shenanigans. Time out, however, was nothing compared with the dreaded “being grounded,” which not only required solitude but also limited one’s use of the Internet, telephone and television. In our modern prisons and schools, too, the final response to bad behavior often entails forced solitude and ostracism, in the form of solitary confinement or a trip to the principal’s office. It may not be surprising, then, that I had mixed feelings about the idea of spending 10 days in solitude secluded from the modern world in a hermitage.

I am a Franciscan novice. Both of those words are open to misinterpretation, so let me clarify. I am a Franciscan friar, a member of the religious order of men founded by St. Francis of Assisi. As such I live following the Rule of St. Francis, which outlines a way of life modeled after the Gospel. A friar is neither a monk nor a secular cleric, but a man who lives in a community of brothers who profess to live with nothing of their own (poverty), without marrying (chastity) and under the direction of their superiors (obedience). While this outline does little justice to the complexities of Franciscan life, it is at least a foundation.

Novices, quite literally, are beginners. In our way of life a novice is one in his second year of what totals five to seven years of formation, or training. I am not only a beginner in my second year, but at 23 I am young, which earns me the title “novice” twice over: I am also a novice at life. I mention my relative youth because it directly affects my hermitage experience and future experiences of solitude. Having entered the Order of Friars Minor immediately following my graduation from college, I am a child of the technological age, or, as we have been dubbed, a “millennial.”

Being a millennial is an important factor for a person in religious life. We millennials have grown up bombarded by stimuli too varied to count. With satellite television, satellite radio, MP3 players, the Internet and cellular phones, silence is a rarity; and with communication technology always a reach or click away, loneliness can easily be masked. None of these devices or activities is inherently bad; on the contrary, appropriately used, they are all good and useful. But because of them and our predisposition to fear solitude (like a time out), the embracing of solitude can be difficult for a millennial. So when my novice master informed me that I would spend 10 days in the woods of eastern Pennsylvania on a hermitage experience, apprehension and anxiety soon followed.

Dating God

If you never spend time with another person, you can hardly describe yourself as being in a relationship with the other. To foster a healthy and meaningful relationship with someone, you must set aside time during which the other person is your focus and your presence to each other takes priority. Understandably, such effort can be a challenge. With all the distractions of life and the pressures of work and society, it seems sometimes nearly impossible and often improbable that time can be made just to be and to be with another.

The difficulty in finding time and space to be present to another seems to occur more frequently in a relationship that is taken for granted or in a complacent relationship that has been relegated to a lower status on one’s priority list. It is different from the time when one first began to know a person, what in romantic relationships we call dating. Dates are specific times reserved solely for experiencing the presence of another, to learn about him or her and to build a history of shared experiences.

Transcending the stereotype of the romantic encounter, an experience like dating can be found in all types of relationships. When we first get to know a new friend, we want to spend time exclusively with that person; we desire to be around him or her. We want to learn all we can about the other and to include this new and exciting person in all of our activities. Doesn’t this sound like dating minus the romantic nuances?

As time goes on and the friendship becomes more established, life more busy and work more burdensome, what once was natural and easy requires planning and intention. Maintaining a relationship, romantic or otherwise, requires effort.

The purpose of a hermitage experience is to set aside a time and create a space for solitude. Living alone in a small cabin means no television to entertain, Internet to distract or music to soothe. Following the instruction set down by St. Francis on how friars are to live while at a hermitage, my fellow novices and I set out for 10 days of solitude. Adapting the Gospel passage about Jesus’ encounter with Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) into a model for life in a hermitage, St. Francis designated that half the friars take the role of Martha and the other half that of Mary. The Marthas look after the needs of the Marys by preparing the meals, planning the prayer and protecting the solitude of the Marys. Halfway through the experience the friars switch roles. After serving my brothers in the role of Martha, my time came to go off to the hermitage, and I was left alone. Or so I thought.

Not long in the silence of solitude, I understood that I was not alone. With all the initial awkwardness of seeing a friend for the first time in a long time, I realized I was on a date with God. Soon I began to acknowledge that the awkwardness of this date was not mutual. God, like a patient and understanding friend, was simply present and comfortable with me. It was I who was uncomfortable. Burdened with self-consciousness and doubt, projecting my own insecurities and self-judgments on God, I found myself in a state of nervous confusion. It was not until I took a walk in the woods that I realized, as with a best friend or a wonderful date, my presence was all God desired. In turn, God’s presence was enough to calm my nerves and assure me of my value and my ability to be loved. I experienced a form of transcendence while walking among and as part of creation with my creator. It was a very good date.

The Importance of Solitude

The concept of dating God is not new. Throughout history believers have sought solitude to hear more clearly the quiet, gentle voice of God. While in a cave awaiting the Lord, Elijah did not find God in the heavy wind, earthquake or fire, but in a tiny whisper (1 Kgs 19:9-13). Today we do not find the Lord on the Internet, television or radio, but in the quiet of time set aside for God.

This is not to suggest that solitude is the only way to experience God. Similarly, time alone with another is not the only form of dating. We find God in community with our sisters and brothers, in the activities of work or leisure and in art-to name a few other ways. While it is joyful and enriching to go on a date with someone to a professional basketball game or to the movies, it is difficult to enter into intimate conversation at that time. Some dates with God will be experienced in liturgy, faith sharing, friendship, music and so on. However, there is a fundamental need to create a space and set aside a time that is just for God, where a deeper conversation can take root.

Jesus built close friendships with men and women. He often chose to spend time with his friends; at other times he joined the larger community to teach and share a meal; but frequently Jesus withdrew into solitude. After his baptism, “Filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert for 40 days” (Matt 4:1, Mark 1:12, Luke 4:1). It was the custom of Jesus to pray on the Mount of Olives (Luke 22:39). When we answer his call to “Follow me” (Luke 5:27, John 1:43), we follow Jesus to the Father in solitude. Jesus shows us that in solitude we are never alone. We are with our creator, to whom we are the beloved children created in God’s image.

Dating God does not require a hermitage any more than taking a prospective spouse on a date requires a first class restaurant. Solitude comes when we create the space and set aside the time to enter more deeply into the mystery that is the love that gives us life and meaning. It can be found in the quiet of the morning before a busy day, a 10-minute walk at lunch or in restful moments before bed.

Solitude may appear scary at first. Yet by confronting that fear, one takes the first step toward deepening one’s relationship with God. The prospect of learning more about another person or oneself can be daunting, too, yet the reward comes in the connection formed when the two know each other in the openness of an intimate friendship.

Isn’t it time to go on a date with God?

Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M., a Franciscan friar in initial formation for
the Most Holy Name of Jesus Province, is in residence at St. Paul's Friary in
Wilmington, Del.

 

A clouded dream on an earthly night, hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light, sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there where the heart moves the stones
It's there that my heart is longing
All for the love of you
Loreena McKennitt - The Mystic's Dream (Album: the Mask and Mirror)

Yesterday morning, finally I completely left the beautiful islands of Micronesia. A six-days visit to Yap, one that I thought would not bear any meaning to me, seems turned to be a good place for me in transiting myself to finally say goodbye to the place that I loved.

Yesterday morning, as I seat on the plane that took me to Manila, I looked out its window and truly I did not feel any emotions like I had a day I left Chuuk. Perhaps, in Yap, I finally released them all, noticing that I should moved on. I thank God for two years of great experiences with a lot of great people. People whom I considered not only as friends, but a families.

A day in Manila, I felt amazed that I still looked for a cereal for breakfast, and got dissapointed because I cannot find them around at the dinning hall. Last night, I still felt that I wanted to hear once again the sound of the waves, the breeze of the beach, … seems that I felt so attached with the place. It sounds so strange, if I compared it with my prayers in Yap. I noticed and felt ready to move on. I even felt, if I wanted to respond to my good experiences at Xavier, I should live responsibly to my studies in Theology. To be ready to live in a new life. It is a time to say goodbye and left every sensible things that stopped me to move on.

This morning, as I write this reflection, I aware that I should be patient to myself. In my human sense, it is normal to have a such transition. I cannot just cut down everything, the feeling that I felt, had confirmed me that I really had a good experience at Xavier. What I can do now, just offer them back to my great Lord, whom provided me with the experiences. To pray for them, and notice that I do move on …

Wondrous Stillness

By Richard A. Blake

America Magazine, Vol. 196 No.17, Whole No. 4774 – May 14, 2007

Review on Film: Into Great Silence (“Die Grosse Stille”)

Director: Phillip Groning (2005) Genre: Documentary

French theorists used to employ the term “pure cinema” to describe film as an entirely new art form of moving images. It struck directly at the senses and created its own experience, without reliance on older forms like literature, painting, music or photography. The theory provided the basis for an interesting aesthetic of cinema, but the practice revealed its shortcomings. Most of the examples they cited, like Dziga Vertov’s “Man with a Movie Camera” (1928), a series of seemingly random shots of Moscow during a summer afternoon, or Andy Warhol’s experimental films, like “Empire” (1964), a six-hour view of the Empire State Building taken from a single camera angle, test the patience of all but the most dedicated film scholar. Take away narrative line, characters, musical score, dialogue, voice-over explanations, a message and not much remains to hold the attention.

Into Great Silence (“Die Grosse Stille”) not only holds the attention; it mesmerizes. Philip Gröning spent several months, from spring to fall, filming at La Grande Chartreuse, the Carthusian charterhouse, or monastery, hidden in the French Alps. He does to his film what the monks have done to their lives: strips away everything superfluous to get down to the barest essentials. By abandoning all that appeals to the intellect he leads his viewers into an experience much like the deepest forms of mystical prayer. One has to enter into the silence with the monks, and let the stillness take effect on its own terms. He makes no attempt to explain their lives, much less justify them. After spending almost three hours in this state of quiet observation, viewers may not find words adequate to describe their reaction, and perhaps they might not even want to search for them.

The film begins with an image scarcely perceptible. As the eye becomes accustomed to the darkness, it makes out the outline of a monk in his medieval habit, kneeling in prayer. He turns to adjust a window behind him and returns to his prie-dieu. The scene shifts without comment to an external shot of the sky. After filling the screen with a pure blue, the camera gradually sharpens focus on falling snow. The flakes are huge, like feathers from a ruined pillow. This is one of those heavy, wet spring snows that smoothes every surface and swallows every sound. The exterior snowfall underscores the interior quietude of the man at prayer. No commentary points this out, but through pure images, slowly and imperceptibly, silence and reverence fuse in the mind.

Time takes on an unearthly dimension in this world. In effect, it has no meaning at all. In the relentless, endlessly repetitive world of the monastery, routine supplants achievement. Nothing is rushed; everything is deliberate. The chant of their office strolls forward in measured pace as though no one has reason to finish it. Indeed they don’t. Their time is measured by the bell that summons them seven times each day to the liturgy of hours. In this cyclic movement of their lives, finishing one lesson simply prepares the way for the next. It is never finished. They don’t even look forward to a night’s rest at the end of their labors, since they rise after a few hours to begin another cycle of prayer. Can contemporary filmgoers slow to this pace? It is a challenge.

The monks inhabit a highly symbolic universe that outsiders also find alien, but it becomes a lovely dwelling place once one dares to leave the ordinary, utilitarian world behind. The slightest gesture becomes a ritual. They stand and kneel at their private prayer, with a slow and generous sign of the cross marking the beginning and end. When they gather for common prayer, the hood of their habits must be raised or lowered at the appropriate moment. A tailor cuts his cloth and selects buttons as though he were performing a sacred rite, for in fact he is. Dicing celery for soup, delivering meals to the individual cells, chopping wood, dusting the sanctuary, resoling a boot, shoveling snow from the vegetable patch with gloveless hands to prepare for an early planting, all these tasks become part of a life of sacred liturgy.

Even the cells where the monks spend most of their day become sacred space, no less than the choir or the sanctuary. In this sacred space, where they appear to retreat into their privacy untouched by the outside world, they find the freedom to open themselves most to their inner selves where they allow God to touch them profoundly. Where they seem most protected, they are in fact most vulnerable. Gröning captures the sacredness of this space with a loving attention to detail and a delicacy in using the low winter light from the windows that suggests the Flemish masters: a wooden bowl filled with fruit, a perfect apple split on a cloth napkin, a loaf of bread resting in the drawer of a cabinet, a battered metal bowl draining by the side of a sink.

Even though the film invites one to step into the frame of a magnificently designed still life, the monks retain their humanity. At several instances the camera provides simple close-up portraits of the individual men who have chosen this style of life. They look into the camera without gesture or expression. Neither madmen nor religious fanatics, and possibly not even saints, they are simply men, and the film invites, even challenges, its viewers to plumb the mystery of their lives. Two postulants put on the habit for the first time and undergo a simple ceremony of reception surrounded by other monks. What leads men to embrace a way of life that might have made sense a thousand years ago? Twice, as the camera looks skyward, a jet airliner silently passes five miles overhead. Again, the images make the point without words.

Gröning finds a core of humanity in this otherworldly existence. In his cell, one of the postulants practices his chant with the help of a simple keyboard. He struggles with the notes. In a bare room that serves as a barber shop, the monks have their heads shaved. After the barber sets aside the electric clippers, he carefully brushes the loose hair from their scalps. A younger monk completes the process by rinsing his head under a spigot. The infirmarian applies salve to the back of an older monk, but the film reveals nothing of reason for the treatment. These are simply human beings serving the ordinary needs of their bodies.

In one of the very rare instances of dialogue, near the end of the film, an elderly monk describes his blindness as a gift from God and shares his reflections on death, which he anticipates as another gift. Of themselves, the words offer nothing profound or illuminating, and in fact the cynical could dismiss them as little more than pious cliché. But after seeing how this man has lived, the words take on a meaning much larger than their syntax.

The great silence really teems with humanity, once one learns to listen. The hard-soled work shoes resound on the bare boards of the monastery. Doors open and close, kneelers scuff the floor, pages turn, a coarse rag scrapes across a newly washed bowl, a cart rattles along the stone floor. In the background, one hears an electric saw but sees nothing of it. And always there is the bell. All these are merely sounds of the human enterprise of men whose lives are directed toward eternity as they work their way through time. They demand and receive no explanation.

“Into Great Silence” has few prospects for release in many theaters. It’s too long and far too slow for audiences addicted to explosions, fireballs and car chases. Zeitgeist films in New York, however, will soon release a DVD version that will make this stunning film available for private use. Perhaps some television stations may run it during their periodic search for religious programming to run during the Christmas and Easter seasons. Even so, the small screen scarcely does justice to the richly textured images. No matter where it is seen, “Into Great Silence” is one of those rare films to rise toward contemplation.

Richard A. Blake, S.J., is professor of fine arts and co-director of the film studies program at Boston College, Chestnut Hill, Mass.

find more information about “Into Great Silence” on: IMDB and decent films guide

Ooh, Solitude ... Still with me is only you

Ooh, Solitude ... I can't stay away from you

[Evanescence - solitude] 

It was a day before I left Chuuk. and it was just two days from the day I posted this writing. A day that Non and I went to climb a tiny hill close to Mabuchi. We reached Witipwon, the name of the hill, which has a some kind of rock cliff at its top where you can see a beautiful scenery of the campus of Xavier High School. And as you look upon the horizons, you will see almost half of the atol islands of Chuuk. It is a beautiful scenery worth of forty-five minutes walked with a friend, especially one like Non.

Seeing such beautiful scenery, we came to a talk about how beautiful these islands of Micronesia are, especially Chuuk lagoons and its light blue ocean. Strange, in the middle of the conversation. we agreed that what looked so pretty in our eyes, could be a deceiving view since, looking back to our everyday life at Xavier, they were not as beautiful as we considered to the islands’ scenery.

Yesterday afternoon, at last I left Chuuk. It was so hard for me since I never knew when will I be return and meet this people again. I recalled a similar moments two years ago, when I just left my home to Xavier. I noticed that I cried at that time, but I knew that I did not resist to leave home. It was so different this time. I felt it is hard for me to walk to the gateway door at the airport, since I noticed the moment I got there, I never be able to see them again.

These two events become a strong images that come up as I contemplate the whole emotion that I encountered these days. I felt so strange as I counting the days that left at Xavier, I never tried to write anything about it. Not here as blog journal, or as my own personal writing. It seems that I tried to freeze time, in order to prevent me moving to another day. I really hope that I may stay a little bit longer. I still busied my day with work at Xavier until thirty minutes before we went to the airport. I noticed that I never felt so attach with a place before compare with what I felt about Xavier.

Then, why do I feel that way, if I felt that life at Xavier was hard and “was not as beautiful” as its appearance, What makes me feel so attached with the place? One thing that became a key point, what makes me felt that I do not want to leave, because it was so different than what I experienced two years ago. At that time, I knew that I will return home after two years, at least. That was not a forever goodbye. This time, I know the moment I left them, I will never knew when will I see them again. This goodbye may means forever.

For a moment, I felt that I was not happy. I think that I was not feel peace at all. I even felt everything just empty right now. I was still avoiding myself to think about them. Really, I did not want this happen at all. It was really hard to say goodbye now.

However, I begin to understand how beautiful that God work is. It was not the islands that fascinated me or Xavier as one of the best school in the Pacific, or anything similar like it. But, it was people that make me finally see how God is able to show me about his love and how I loved them. It is they who make me feel that I do not want this last and it proved me how good this regency years of mine. To tell you the truth, even as I write along this journal, I never find words that can describe what I felt about this whole thing.

Finally, I noticed that I should move to a better thing. It is God who gathered us as friends and family of Xavier, and all of this end up as good things to be remembered, however, we have to move on to make this experience does not end up just as good memories, but a ransom which energized our soul and it will move us to a something better.

Xaviers, … I promised you that I will always remember and keep you in my heart. I Love you all forever.   

Note: the video does not have anything to do with this reflection. It is only a soundtrack which I think proper to express what I felt inside right now.  

information about Evanescence, homepage: http://evanescence.com/

on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evanescence

Malaysian convert denied her Christian identity by Sharia court

.-
Malaysia’s highest court has rejected a six-year appeal by a Malay
woman to have her Christian identity officially recognized.

The Federal Tribunal ruled that only the Shariah (Islamic law) Court
could allow Lina Joy, 42, to remove the word Muslim from her identity
card.

“You can’t at whim and fancy convert from one religion to another,”
said judge Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim reading the court’s decision
on Wednesday.

The verdict ends a legal battle that began in 2001 when Joy asked the courts to recognize her conversion to Christianity.

Joy was born Azlina binti Jailani into a Muslim and ethnic Malay family. However, in 1998, she converted to Catholicism.

At that time, the Civil Registry of Marriages refused her
application to marry a Catholic man because she had a Muslim name. The
country’s Civil Marriage provision prohibits Muslims from registering
marriages as civil ones.

She managed to have her name changed to Lina Joy in 1999, but the
Muslim designation on her identity card remained despite her
declaration that she is a Christian. The government’s Registration
Department refused to change the designation, insisting instead that
she seek an order from the Shariah Court, stating that she had become
an apostate.

She took the matter to the courts, expecting that her right to
religious freedom would trump civil policy. But the court pointed to a
provision in the federal constitution that defines Malays as Muslim. In
other words, Malays cannot renounce Islam because Islam is inherent to
their identity as an ethic group. The court ultimately referred Joy to
the Shariah Court.

The likelihood that the Shariah Court would rule that Joy could
renounce her Muslim identity was slim since no other ethnic Malay has
ever been granted the same, reports The Wall Street Journal.

The verdict has confirmed the predominance of Islam over other
religions in the country, which is likely to increase the
dissatisfaction of the Christian, Hindu and Buddhist minorities.

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30-May-2007 — Catholic World News Brief

Great Theology Requires Communion with Church, Pope says


Vatican, May. 30, 2007 (CWNews.com) – During his weekly public audience on May 30, Pope Benedict XVI resumed his series of talks on the leaders of the early Church, speaking about the influence of Tertullian.

A convert to Christianity who lived in north African in the 2nd century, Tertullian was “the first great Christian author to write in Latin,” the Pope observed.

Speaking to a crowd of over 30,000 people in St. Peter’s Square, Pope Benedict said that Tertullian’s powerful arguments against his pagan contemporaries had an important influence on the early Church. He also noted that Tertullian gave theologians an accurate way to describe the holy Trinity as “one substance” and “three Persons.”

However, Tertullian’s life is also a caution to theologians, the Pope continued. The great African thinker became steadily more demanding in his moral teachings for Christians, “expecting them to behave heroically in all circumstances and especially during persecution.” Eventually “the intemperance of his character gradually led him to abandon communion with the Church,” the Pope recalled. In his later life, the Pope said, Tertullian “lacked the simplicity and humility to be part of the Church.”

Pope Benedict concluded that even great thinkers must be mindful of their own limitations, or risk losing the perspective that makes their ideas influential. He said: “The essential characteristic of great theologians is the humility to remain with the Church, to accept her weaknesses and their own, because only God is truly holy.”

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CNS STORY: Many young people find their college years strengthen their faith

By Carol Zimmermann
Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON (CNS) — When college students graduate, it doesn’t necessarily mean they leave with a spiritual void, despite the widespread notion that young people take a hiatus from their religious upbringing during their college years.

Some students find their faith unscathed by the college experience and others even find it significantly strengthened. Ryan Hehman, a 2006 graduate of The Catholic University of America in Washington, falls into the second category.

Hehman, who grew up Catholic, said that when he started college he saw people living out their faith more than he had ever experienced. He got involved in campus ministry and participated in a mission trip to Guatemala after his freshman year that turned his “world upside down,” influencing the rest of his college years and even his current work.

“I got so wrapped up in church and faith, that I couldn’t settle for a regular job,” he told Catholic News Service May 17 from A Simple House of Sts. Francis and Alphonsus, a lay missionary apostolate serving the poorest neighborhoods in Washington.

Hehman does not think he is the exception either. “I think the tide is turning,” he said, noting that students on college campuses are living out their faith more fully and are not ashamed to do so. He attributes this shift to the influence of Pope John Paul II and a general trend of young Catholics “looking for something more.”

Abbie Smith, author of “Can You Keep Your Faith in College? Students from 50 Campuses Tell You How — and Why,” published in 2006, said it is possible for students to remain spiritual while they are in college, but it isn’t necessarily easy.

A key way for students to tap into their faith is through campus ministry programs, according to Smith, who graduated four years ago. But the existence of these programs alone won’t make the difference, she said. She stressed that students have to actually meet the campus ministers or “go to the barbeque” sponsored by ministry groups.

Smith, who said she became a Christian during her freshman year at Emory University in Atlanta, told CNS May 11 in a telephone interview from Los Angeles that students don’t have to participate in all campus ministry events to maintain their spiritual foothold. More importantly, she said they should at least link up with someone in the group with whom they can talk about faith issues periodically.

Theresa Sander, a graduating senior at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro, agreed that the events themselves aren’t as important as the opportunity to talk about beliefs.

“We help each other on our journey of faith,” she said, particularly of the campus ministry’s discussions on what the church has to say about modern issues.

Father John Sims Baker, chaplain for Catholic students at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, said the point of campus ministry is “not to stir up more busyness in students’ lives, but to give them the gifts the church has to offer — spiritual direction, the sacraments.”

By offering everything from “prayer and poker” nights, service projects and weekly adoration, he hopes to reach students in all phases of their personal spiritual development, and he is not disappointed when the numbers are down.

As he sees it, the small but committed core group of Catholic student leaders “are the ones who will make a difference to their peers.”

At some schools, these core groups are often the students who end up doing service work after graduating. The University of Notre Dame and Catholic University both held special services during commencement activities to send off students planning to do a year or more of service or entering the seminary or religious life.

But the college faith experience does not seem reserved just for these small groups of students either. Instead, religion seems to be more widespread on campuses.

A Harvard University professor recently told The New York Times that religion is more present now on the university’s campus than it has been in the past 100 years. Across the country, students are taking religious studies classes, majoring in religion and living in dormitories with others who share their faith.

Studies, like those conducted by the Higher Education Research Institute at the University of California in Los Angeles, show that more than two-thirds of surveyed freshmen pray and nearly 80 percent believe in God.

College students also have the luxury of something that many working adults do not have to devote to spirituality — time.

“You have a lot more time in college for the 2 o’clock in the morning conversations,” said Smith. “People are more available. You get into debates and discussions on deeper issues of spirituality. There is a lot of freedom in that season of life.”

- – -

Contributing to this story was Theresa Laurence in Nashville.

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